Shut up, Simmons.

I was putzing around on ESPN.com earlier today and happened upon The Sport's Guy's 4,500 WORD 20-question column on soccer.  I read through it but stopped after reading his question and answer below:

Question No. 7: You haven't handled Boston's Game 7 loss to the Lakers very well. What was the snarkiest e-mail or text you sent to a Boston friend after hearing that Kobe was attending the USA-Ghana game?

It was a tie between "Since Kobe is attending this game, does this mean we're gonna get all the calls?" and "Kobe watched only six of the first 24 minutes but was still named MVP of his luxury suite."

Jesus Christ.  You've gotta be kidding me.  This is why I can't stand Bill Fucking Simmons.  I'm fine with homerism, don't get me wrong.  And I re-live bad beats like a bankrupt poker player (see: 2007 BCSNCG; the last two Georgetown Hoyas NCAA tournament games).  But this is getting ridiculous.  The Celtics lost.  In 7 games.  It was a helluva run for team that shouldn't have gotten out of the conference semis.  But they lost to the better team, hands down.  And Simmons has, for the last month, let everyone know that the Celtics got screwed or that Kobe didnt' deserve his MVP (which is true, Gasol should have gotten it, but I digress).  He's let everyone know in his BS Report podcast.  In his column.  On his Twitter feed.  Its incredibly annoying.

So I have this message for Billy Boy:

GET OVER IT! 

Do what the rest of us do and get your put it behind you.  And its not like you've been overwhelmingly victimized by bad beats in your lifetime, pal.  Your teams have won 6 championships in the last 10 years alone:

• 2004, 2007 Red Sox
• 2001, 2003, 2004 New England Patriots
• 2008 Celtics

Its not like you're rooting for the Indians and the Cavs in Cleveland or the Bills and the Sabres in Buffalo, Bill-o.  You've been there for the good quite often.  You even double dipped in 2004.

I know the easy solution is to just not read the column, stop following him on Twitter (I did) and put him out my mind, and I'm going to do that.  But not before I say this.

Shut the fuck up, Simmons.  Go peddle your beantown wares in Quincy Market, asshole.