It Begins Tomorrow...

My buddy is getting married in September of next year.  I'm going.  Nice.  Weddings kick ass.  And it's not only over a long weekend, it's a destination wedding in beautiful Pentwater, Michigan.  Don't let the website, probably designed as a school project by a Councilman's son (or Councilwoman's daughter blah blah blah gender equity), fool you.  This is going to be a kickass wedding.  It also happens to happen on my 27th birthday. While this has a number of "meh" qualities, I can't think of a better way to spend my birthday than with an open bar.  Can you?

Apropos of that, at least a bit, I woke up today and got ready for work and noticed my pants put up more than a bit of a fight to button this morning.  I got it to work, sure, but these were, not a few months ago, my "relaxing work pants".  Now they're my "these are slightly uncomfortable work pants".  Not nice.  Not nice at all.  I've been a fat guy since college, the result of beer, dining hall food and a rec center that was juuuuuuust a bit too far away to walk to.  And there was no free parking, so I couldn't even drive there if I wanted to.  As a result, it was 12oz curls and 12-slice lifts throughout college.  This added up to a lot, particularly in the donations bin of my local charities because none of my clothes fit anymore.  It has also added up to more buying clothes with that second "X" on the size.  And they charge you another fucking $2 for that at some places.  Assholes!

Anyway now it's time to change all of that.

The wedding is in about 280 days.  That's a long time from now.  Plenty of time to lose a shit load of weight.  At least I hope it is.  How am I going to do it?  Fair question.  I don't have all the strategies in line but they will, for the most part, consist of adding a few things to my life and subtracting a few more.

Adds:

• Some kind of fitness routine!  
• This will mean I'll have to pony up the cash to join a gym.  The cheapest, lowest rent, no free sweat rags, likely filfthiest gym I can find.  But if they have a treadmill, some free weights and a TV (the last is not a deal breaker) then I'm good.

• Portion control!  
• This may be the thing that got me to where I am.  Fuck, I love food.  I love good food, bad food, Indian food...food is fucking great.  So I eat a lot of it.  And now I look like I do.  So it's time to enjoy food with a little less frequency and a little less gross tonnage.  

• Goals!  
• I'm running the Cleveland Half Marathon with another friend in May.  I want to be able to finish without walking too much.  Well, fuck that, I want to finish before the sun goes down.  That's a goal, is what that is.

• Public Humiliation Diet!  
• Hey, it worked for Drew Magary.  Wow, do I look too much like the pic on the left.

Subtracts:

• Fast Food! 
• I noted that I love food.  Boy, do I.  And I really love fast, cheap food.  Time to limit this as much as possible.  Sure, if time's are tough and if the muse strikes me, maybe I get a JBC from Wendy's.  But not every day, and not a JBC, fries, a 5 piece and a drink.  

• Chipotle! 
• I love Chipotle, too.  Surprising.  The meal of choice there is a Fajita bowl with a lot of crap that adds up to 855 Calories, 2100 mg of Sodium and37 Grams of fat.  Jesus.  That adds a stretch mark for everyone one of those I have.  Au revoir, Chipotle.  I will miss you.

• Being really fucking lazy on the weekends! 
• It's winter and sitting on the couch, drinking a beer and watching football is damn appealing.  But so is fitting into clothes.  I do aproxamately 7 minutes of physical labor on the weekends and about 2738 minutes of watching TV and sleeping.  That needs to change.

There will be more and I'll be updating this shit on this here blog from time to time and on my twitter feed each day with a weight check-in, beginning tomorrow.

Time to be less fat.  Here we go.